Why It’s Easy to Mistype Before Your Mid 20s (Myers-Briggs Deep Dive)

I thought I was an INFJ for years.

My dad introduced me to personality type theory sometime in junior high and I’ve been intrigued (and borderline obsessed) ever since. I took the Myers Briggs Type Indicator multiple times and each time my result was the same: INFJ. Which stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. Each letter seemed correct… and the bonus? It was the rarest of the 16 personality types! I felt so validated in my uniqueness and I fully embraced the INFJ identity.

That is… until I went to college.

Somehow my roommate, my best friend, and five other extroverted, bubbly first year girls ALL claimed to be INFJs. We were all the rarest personality type. Together.

Uh, no.

I knew something had to be off. Not just statistically, although that was my first clue, but just practically: all the INFJs I knew were so, so different. And so many of them seemed Extroverted, too. So, why were we all typing as INFJs?

I forgot about the Myers-Briggs for the next few years. It was slightly discredited in my eyes and I didn’t have the knowledge or energy to deep dive into why the online tests were so inaccurate. I knew that we weren’t all INFJs… but there’s always that thought: “well they’re not an INFJ, but at least I am!” I just figured that they were wrong, I was right, and they would find out eventually.

Not exactly.

I still think 80% of the INFJs I met were not actually INFJs, but I was actually among them.

I re-took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator when I was a Senior and this time, my results were different. I took the test again and again and each time the results confirmed that I was actually an ENFP.

Two letters changing? Can a person’s personality type really shift that much from Freshman to Senior year?

It seems like an evolution of personality type on the surface, but the beauty of MBTI is that it goes so much deeper than that. When you get into the cognitive function level, it all makes sense.

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How Cognitive Functions Work

To understand how cognitive functions work, we’ll need a quick history lesson.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is a self-assessment tool developed by mother/daughter team Katharine Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers in the 1940s. Their goal was to make Carl Jung’s psychological type theory accessible to the average person.

Carl Jung was one of the first people to define introversion and extroversion as he observed some people were oriented to the external world and others to the internal. From there he continued to notice and name personality differences which are now known as cognitive functions. According to Jung’s study and observation, he identified two cognitive processes: perception and judgment. The two perceiving functions are Sensing and Intuition (which learn and absorb information); the two judging functions are Thinking and Feeling (which make decisions based on given information). Every mental act consists of using one of these four functions: Sensing, Intuition, Feeling, or Thinking.

A cognitive function can be introverted or extroverted based on whether it is oriented inward toward the individual or outward toward the world. The eight known cognitive functions are as follows:

  • Extroverted Sensing (Se)
  • Introverted Sensing (Si)
  • Extroverted Intuition (Ne)
  • Introverted Intuition (Ni)
  • Extroverted Feeling (Fe)
  • Introverted Feeling (Fi)
  • Extroverted Thinking (Te)
  • Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Katharine Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers chose to focus on Jung’s notion of opposites and they defined the dichotomies in order to reveal one’s personal type pattern. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator tests one’s preference between Introversion vs. Extroversion, Intuition vs. Sensing, Thinking vs. Feeling, and Perception vs. Judging. Based on one’s preferences they are assigned a four letter code (ex. ISFP, ENTJ) which points to their four dominantly used cognitive functions.

The dichotomies are simply a roadmap to someone’s cognitive functions: a beginning, as opposed to a final destination.

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ENFP vs. INFJ Cognitive Functions

Knowing that each Myers-Briggs type uses four preferred cognitive functions, let’s compare an ENFP and an INFJ.

An ENFP’s dominant cognitive function is Extroverted Intuition, their secondary cognitive function is Introverted Feeling, their tertiary cognitive function is Extroverted Thinking, and their inferior function is Introverted Sensing.

An INFJ’s dominant cognitive function is Introverted Intuition, their secondary cognitive function is Extroverted Feeling, their tertiary cognitive function is Introverted Thinking, and their inferior function is Extroverted Sensing.

An ENFP and INFJ do not share any cognitive functions, although their dominant cognitive function is an intuitive one, their secondary function is a feeling function, their tertiary function is thinking, and their inferior function is sensing. What makes them so different is that they use intuition, feeling, thinking, and sensing all in different ways… what makes them so similar (especially to an online MBTI quiz), is that they’re heavy intuition-users and heavy feeling-users (the only difference is in their function’s orientation).

If an ENFP believes that they’re more introverted than they are, or they misunderstand the meaning of introversion in a Jungian sense, it is very easy to mistype as an INFJ. Especially when taking cognitive development into account.

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When Do Cognitive Functions Develop?

So when do cognitive function typically develop? The average timeline is as follows (although this can be significantly altered by life circumstances, trauma, mental illness, or other growth stunting/accelerating events):

Dominant/Driver Function: This is the function used most often (approximately 80% of the time) by an individual. Development begins at birth and continues through childhood. The dominant function is so natural that it will feel like home for the user.

Auxiliary Function: This function is used second-most often and together with the dominant function defines approximately 90% of someone’s experience. The auxiliary function works as a side-kick to the dominant function and will “flavor” everything the user does. Development usually begins in adolescence.

Tertiary Function: This function starts to develop around mid-20s and can be a secret weapon and a blind spot for many types. Because it will never be as well-developed as the dominant and auxiliary, this function can act as a stumbling block or noble vice.

Inferior Function: This function starts to develop around mid-life and will often act as a zone of tremendous weakness. This is a place where growth can happen but shouldn’t receive too much attention because it will always be weaker than the other functions.

I believed that I was an INFJ for many years not because my personality “changed” in that time frame, but because my secondary cognitive function wasn’t finished developing until I was in my mid-20s. Moving from the development of my introverted feeling function to my extroverted thinking function helped me grasp my true strengths and weaknesses and see my personality type clearly. I believe this is the key reason why so many people tend to mistype before their mid-20s: their second function isn’t finished developing yet.

Before diving into cognitive functions, I knew that I favored intuition and feeling. What I misinterpreted, based on my stage of development, was where I feel on the introvert-extrovert scale. From adolescence to mid-20s, an ENFP is developing Introverted Feeling. From my limited perspective, I was extremely introverted because I was learning how to navigate the inner world of Fi and was absolutely consumed by it. As I learned to navigate Fi and filter Ne ideas through an inner Fi lens… I was able to put both functions in their proper place and see myself more clearly as the ENFP that I was.

Knowledge of cognitive function development can truly make all the difference when it comes to typing correctly.

So, what about you? Where do you fall in your own cognitive function development? Do you believe you’re right on track, or ahead/behind the average timeline? Were you mistyped for a period of time? Leave your thoughts below!

5 Practical Ways Myers-Briggs Can Help Your Marriage (From A ENFP + ESTP Couple)

My husband, Paul, and I have been married since 2018. This coming October we’ll celebrate four years! (How does time pass so quickly?!)

One thing that’s been a pillar in our relationship in terms of understanding each other and learning to communicate well over the past four years has been personality type theory. On the Enneagram, I am a 7w8 and he is an 8w7 — closely adjacent types with very similar motivations. But the Enneagram alone only got us so far in understanding our key communication differences… what’s been most helpful has been the Myers-Briggs.

On paper, we’re not the most compatible types. I’m an ENFP and he’s an ESTP. When you look at cognitive functions for these two types, we don’t share any in common.

An ENFP’s cognitive functions (from dominant to inferior) are: Extroverted Intuition, Introverted Feeling, Extroverted Thinking, Introverted Sensing.

An ESTP’s cognitive functions (from dominant to inferior) are: Extroverted Sensing, Introverted Thinking, Extroverted Feeling, Introverted Intuition.

So, first… let’s look at the cognitive similarities between an ENFP and an ESTP:

  • Both types are Perceivers — they prefer to take in information before they make a decision (as opposed to Judgers who prefer to make a decision first and then take in information afterward).
  • Both types are Extroverts — they consider the outside world as the real world (as opposed to Introverts who consider their inside world as the real world).

But that’s where the cognitive similarities stop (for the most part). If you were reading any other blog or article about “compatible” personality types… they would tell you to HALT! Stop right there, back up, abort mission.

This is where MBTI can be misused. When viewing compatibility in such black and white terms, such as: an ENFP is most compatible with an INTJ, or the Intuition-Sensing communication line shouldn’t be crossed if you can help it, or a Perceiver needs to be balanced by a Judger, etc. What you’re doing with these broad stereotypes is brushing over the richness that can be achieved with diversely paired MBTI types, while also depriving those same couples of the tools they could use to enhance, enrich, and better understand their significant other.

In other words, rich relational connections can truly be found in any type pairing.

So, what all that said… here are five ways the Myers-Briggs system can help your relationship (using examples from my own ENFP + ESTP relationship):

1) Embracing Cognitive Similarities

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First: recognize and embrace your similarities.

By discovering that my husband and I are both Extroverts in the Myers-Briggs system, my husband and I are able to manage our energy levels together. For example, if we spend an entire weekend oriented around “alone time,” we’re probably going to feel drained, rather than recharged. But “socialization” isn’t the outlet that our extroverted selves need… we actually need to Extrovert in separate ways based on our separate types.

An ENFP’s dominant cognitive function is Extroverted Intuition, so for me to feel recharged, I need to brainstorm, idea-generate, talk to groups of people who love contributing novel thoughts, and dive deeply into big issues… THAT is where I get my energy from.

An ESTP, on the other hand, has a dominant cognitive function of Extroverted Sensing. That means that he will get his energy from going out and doing things in the moment, participating in something high-action/high-energy, and challenging his body in physical ways… THAT is where he gets his energy from.

We’re not extroverts in the sense that we need socialization to feel re-charged (those are Extroverted Feelers, for the most part), but we are extroverts in the sense that we need to engage with the outside world in order to get our energy needs met. So in other words, we’re Extroverted Perceivers. Perceivers, as opposed to Judgers, in the Myers-Briggs system, prefer to keep their options open and soak in information for as long as possible before coming to a conclusion. By realizing our similarity in this way, the Se and Ne cognitive functions aren’t so different after all: they both get excited about the world around them and want to actively discover it.

An Extroverted, Perceiving couple can be an exciting pair: we like to be in the moment together, we’re very spontaneous as a couple, we enjoy going with the flow, we love trying new things (foods, experiences, travel destinations, etc), and we are highly curious about the world around us. Extroverted Perceiving couples can especially thrive when they’re traveling together (and this definitely rings true for us). The times we feel most alive and connected as a pair are the times when we’re exploring the world together, in a new place, doing new things, trying new foods. We’re both down for the adventure and end up re-charged and re-vitalized by it.

By noticing our similarities as Extroverts and as Perceivers in the Myers-Briggs system, we can actively tap into the things that make us feel re-charged, alive, and high-on-life.

2) Identifying Differences in Decision-Making

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Second: Identify how you both make decisions.

Even though we share similarities as Perceivers, an ENFP and an ESTP, will make decisions in very different ways. We have different Perceiving functions (Ne vs. Se) and we have different Judging functions (Fi vs. Ti).

The Judging function is the decision-making function. Once we’re done gathering information through Ne and Se, we’ll make a decision using Fi and Ti. This can cause a lot of confusion and miscommunication (especially if we were unaware of what the other person was doing mentally in order to reach the conclusion that they did).

An ENFP takes in information through Ne and filters it through personal experience and a vast array of values.

An ESTP takes in information through Se and filters it through practical knowledge and a vast array of collected facts.

An ENFP is often asking questions like: is this in line with my personal values? Does this decision support who I am as a person?

An ESTP is often asking questions like: is this in line with what’s most effective? Does this decision make the most logical sense?

You can see where the conflict might arise… it’s like using two entirely different languages.

But by realizing that we’re coming from different places, we’re able to pause and perspective-shift before assuming incorrect things about the other person. In fact, it can add incredible richness to an issue by bringing in both fact and personal value criteria.

An NeFi and SeTi disagreement will often look like two people saying the same thing in vastly different ways. In order for each person to reach their own desired conclusion, we’ll attempt to reframe what the other is saying so that it fits into our individual paradigm. The first step to overcoming this vicious conversation loop is to verbally state that we’re both on the same page, we’re just reading different books. Instead of obsessing over minutiae, we can choose to bond over similarities.

3) Accepting Each Other’s Weaknesses

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Third: Identify and accept your cognitive weaknesses.

Every Myers-Briggs personality type has them: weaknesses. You may be painfully aware of your own… but how often do you seek to understand and have sympathy for someone else’s?

One weakness of an ESTP, for example, is in planning. ESTPs don’t plan, they do. They take action in the present moment. Making decisions about a future that hasn’t played out yet is actually an incredibly foreign and uncomfortable concept for them.

As an ENFP, planning isn’t necessarily a strength, either… but it isn’t so much of a foreign concept. ENFPs may not be the master-of-planning, but thanks to their tertiary Te function, they often plan for fun (albeit, willing to change those plans at a moment’s notice).

Questions like: who’s going to plan the next family vacation? Who’s going to initiate weekly and monthly goals? Between an ESTP and ENFP pair, an ENFP will every time.

One weakness of an ENFP is getting trapped in future-casting and future-dreaming without ever taking immediate action. ENFPs can see so many possibilities, that they often get trapped in visionary mode or speculation mode. Taking action on something without seeing the full picture can be difficult for an ENFP. But not, thankfully, for an ESTP.

Something as simple as going to the store at a moment’s notice or fixing something as soon as it breaks is a huge struggle area for ENFPs. For ESTPs, on the other hand, it’s a walk in the park.

A recent example of this planning vs. action struggle is when my husband and I decided to purchase a new bed frame. I had a great time internet-searching for the best deals, looking at different types of wood that would match our overall home aesthetic, and imagining how we could “grow out” of the bed frame in a few years in favor of a kings size bed and let our future kids take for their room! When it finally arrived, however, I dreaded putting it together. It sat in our living room for a solid week. As soon as I opened the box, my husband (thankfully) jumped right on it and assembled it in less than an hour.

This is just one example of many ways that we help make up for each other’s natural weaknesses. MBTI may point out the problem areas ahead of time, but it is up to us to accept each other for those weaknesses as a daily practice.

4) Stepping Into Strengths and Recognizing Arbitrary Marriage/Gender Roles

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Four: Allow the other to embrace their strengths, regardless of arbitrary roles.

Myers-Briggs types that enjoy stepping into traditional gender roles or marital roles are primarily Introverted Sensing types (ISFJs, ISTJs, ESFJs, and ESTJs), although any type can certainly have a preference for traditional systems.

So for some couples, this may be more of a point of tension in their relationship, but for Extroverted Perceiving couples like the ESTP and ENFP pair… finding novel ways to divide fiscal and domestic responsibilities comes naturally. 

The Myers-Briggs language, in general, provides the tools needed to step outside of these age-old boxes. Just because someone is a female, for example, doesn’t mean that they’ll find their joy or identity in home-making, cooking, cleaning, and child-raising. And just because someone is a male, doesn’t mean that they’ll find their joy or identity in providing financially for the family, doing manual labor, golfing, BBQing, or mowing the lawn. Gender and marital roles have long defined the borders of the family system, but the Myers-Briggs personality structure provides a highly unique, highly personalized way to overcome these labels. 

Maybe an ESFP loves cooking, but only when she can try new recipes and hates the obligation of doing the task every day.

Maybe an ISTJ loves working all day, not because he has to be the financial provider, but because his mechanical engineering position is where he feels the most alive and recharged.

Maybe an ENTJ struggles to watch the kids all day, not because she doesn’t love being a mom, but because she needs stimulating adult conversation for once. 

Of course, we live in a society now that actively recognizes unnecessary stereotypes and is very vocal about calling them out, but having language beyond just: “it shouldn’t have to be this way,” is vital when trying to understand the passions and motivations of another individual. MBTI provides that language, and my own marriage is continually enriched by it. 

5) Spotting Roadblocks For Eachother

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Five: Use Myers-Briggs as an accountability system.

It’s not natural or easy to identify your own blind spots… but someone else’s… now that’s a piece of cake! That’s why we can often rattle off our partner’s weaknesses while struggling to name the same long list of our own.

Myers-Briggs gives a lot of space to allow the other person to be exactly who they are. The language that it uses for cognitive function preferences, the cognitive stack, and natural dominant and inferior functions, invites discussion of these blind spots without quick offense or defensiveness. 

At the heart of it, it’s an accountability system. As long as two people in the relationship are accepting this paradigm equally, the opportunity for growth and communication is endless. 

By understanding type theory, I can let my husband know when he needs to use Ti to recharge, when his tertiary Fe is causing him to act out, or when his inferior Ni may be casting an unnecessary dark shadow on the future.

In turn, my husband can remind me that Fi is favoring personal experience over objective facts when making a decision, my tertiary Te isn’t as thorough as I think it is, and my inferior Si causes unnecessary body-related anxiety. 

The deeper the knowledge of personality type theory, the better equipped we’ll both be in spotting and calling out each other’s blind spots.

Final Thoughts

Relationships can be deeply enhanced with personality theory, whether it’s Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, or so many other systems in-between. But it takes two parties being on the same page, recognizing blind spots, and spotting patterns, in order for the relationship to truly benefit from it. It’s one formula for growth, among so many others, that can help two people lead a long loving life together! 

Now: what about you?

Do you think personality type theory is helpful or harmful when it comes to dating, match-making, and overall communication? I’d love to hear about your own stories with your romantic partner and how Myers Briggs has helped you, or hurt you, in the dating space. Feel free to share in the comments below!

Reaching Flow State for Each Myers-Briggs Type

Have you ever been so intrigued by the work that you’re doing, so passionate about it, that the minutes and hours seem to breeze by and other people struggle to pry you away? If so, congratulations! You’ve entered into a flow state.

“Flow state” is a term that describes a person’s mental place of least resistance. It’s a space where passion and inspiration meet and time fades away. Some people are lucky enough to achieve their flow state every day at their job. Others try to chase that all-illusive feeling, just to come up short.

Each of the sixteen Myers-Briggs types can reach flow by engaging their dominant cognitive function. Because each of the eight dominant cognitive functions are shared by two types, they will be paired accordingly for the following examples.

Introverted Intuition (Ni)

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INFJs and INTJs both have Introverted Intuition (Ni) as their dominant, or primary, cognitive function.

Introverted Intuition allows INFJs and INTJs to accurately read between the lines. It helps them see “behind the curtain” of what’s real and come to certain epiphanies about themselves and the world around them. Ni gathers information and spots patterns on a subconscious level. In order to reach flow state Ni-doms need to rest into a meditative mental state and express their thoughts freely.

Three Practical Ways to Reach Flow State

  • Meditate in a quiet, undisturbed environment.
  • Record creative predictions about the future.
  • Step into imaginary worlds that require heavy strategy (board games, video games, virtual reality, reading, writing, etc).

Since Ni is the secondary, or auxiliary, cognitive function for ENFJs and ENTJs, they may also reach their own flow state through the above activities.

Extroverted Intuition (Ne)

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ENTPs and ENFPs both have Extroverted Intuition (Ne) as their dominant, or primary, cognitive function.

Extroverted Intuition allows ENTPs and ENFPs to be good at brainstorming, horrible at sticking to a routine, inspired by the start up, terrible at the follow through, captivated by new experiences, and stifled by repetitive mundane tasks. In order to reach flow state Ne-doms need to actively brainstorm and vividly pattern-recognize.

Three Practical Ways to Reach Flow State

  • Openly discuss and collaborate with other intuitive types.
  • Engage in a creative activity that has no deadline.
  • Travel somewhere new and bask in the novel experience.

Since Ne is the secondary, or auxiliary, cognitive function for INFPs and INTPs, they may also reach their own flow state through the above activities.

Introverted Feeling (Fi)

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INFPs and ISFPs both have Introverted Feeling (Fi) as their dominant, or primary, cognitive function.

Introverted Feeling allows INFPs and ISFPs to explore the depths of themselves and feel incredibly hurt when others do not seek to understand them. Fi explains why they have a strong sense of right and wrong and are baffled when others do things without conviction. This function helps them empathize with others and understand the world through unique eyes. In order to reach flow state Fi-doms need to discover and express their authentic self.

Three Practical Ways to Reach Flow State

  • Reflect on personal growth through journaling, meditation, etc.
  • Spend solitary time visualizing one’s best self.
  • Engage in pursuits that thoroughly and authentically align with one’s values.

Since Fi is the secondary, or auxiliary, cognitive function for ENFPs and ESFPs, they may also reach their own flow state through the above activities.

Extroverted Feeling (Fe)

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ENFJs and ESFJs both have Extroverted Feeling (Fe) as their dominant, or primary, cognitive function.

Extroverted Feeling allows ENFJs and ESFJs to be incredibly perceptive socially and feel at home with their friends. It’s why they love interacting with people and prize genuine, personal connection over large groups of indifferent followers. In order to reach a flow state Fe-doms need to be surrounded by a community that they can impact and be impacted by.

Three Practical Ways to Reach Flow State

  • Spend quality time with close family and friends.
  • Speak out compassionately for what they believe.
  • Engage in media that explores human behavior and motive (documentaries, autobiographies, etc.)

Since Fe is the secondary, or auxiliary, cognitive function for INFJs and ISFJs, they may also reach their own flow state through the above activities.

Introverted Thinking (Ti)

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INTPs and ISTPs both have Introverted Thinking (Ti) as their dominant, or primary, cognitive function.

Introverted Thinking causes INTPs and ISTPs to deeply analyze how things work and how things are. Ti prioritizes logic and keeps the user skeptical of “universal truths.” In order to reach a flow state Ti-doms need to be given the autonomy to improve systems and structures around them.

Three Practical Ways to Reach Flow State

  • Take something apart, just to see how it works, and then put it back together again.
  • Explore the depth of an argument, and then test for blind spots by playing devil’s advocate.
  • Play games that involve strategy and/or meticulousness.

Since Ti is the secondary, or auxiliary, cognitive function for ENTPs and ESTPs, they may also reach their own flow state through the above activities.

Extroverted Thinking (Te)

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ENTJs and ESTJs both have Extroverted Thinking (Te) as their dominant, or primary, cognitive function.

Extroverted Thinking causes ENTJs and ESTJs to excel as leaders and strategists. Te helps them to collect and piece apart data, come up with efficient plans, schedule their time well, and learn new information quickly. In order to reach a flow state Te-doms need to be mentally stimulated, curious, and actively organize the information they’re given.

Three Practical Ways to Reach Flow State

  • Engage in stimulating, intellectual conversation.
  • Listen to, and learn from, a trustworthy authority figure.
  • Organize goals and evaluate personal and professional progress.

Since Te is the secondary, or auxiliary, cognitive function for INFJs and ISTJs, they may also reach their own flow state through the above activities.

Introverted Sensing (Si)

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ISFJs and ISTJs both have Introverted Sensing (Si) as their dominant, or primary, cognitive function.

Introverted Sensing causes ISFJs and ISTJs to relive past experiences with incredible accuracy. Si prizes fact over inspiration and trusts tradition over novelty. Si gives ISFJs and ISTJs a good sense of humor, attentiveness, and resourcefulness. In order to reach flow state Si-doms need to engage in familiar activities and rest in their expertise.

Three Practical Ways to Reach Flow State

  • Tell a detailed story from the past and acknowledge feelings around it.
  • Thrive within daily routines, chopping out anything that isn’t beneficial.
  • Practice known things and become an expert in one area.

Since Si is the secondary, or auxiliary, cognitive function for ESFJs and ESTJs, they may also reach their own flow state through the above activities.

Extroverted Sensing (Se)

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ESFPs and ESTPs both have Extroverted Sensing (Se) as their dominant, or primary, cognitive function.

Extroverted Sensing causes ESFPs and ESTPs to be excellent at reacting to thing in the moment, horrible at sitting still for very long, eager to push the boundaries of what’s possible, unlikely to dwell on the future, and prone to risk-taking. In order to reach flow state Se-doms need to immerse themselves in their physical environment and have the ability to react to things in real-time.

Three Practical Ways to Reach Flow State

  • Engage all five senses in a single activity.
  • Try a new restaurant or physical experience.
  • Dive into a fast-paced hobby or game.

Since Se is the secondary, or auxiliary, cognitive function for ISFPs and ISTPs, they may also reach their own flow state through the above activities.

All these examples are general ways to achieve flow state for each of the eight cognitive functions, but reaching flow really is a highly personal thing that will depend on past experiences, personal growth and development, passions and hobbies, and so much more! An activity that helps one INTJ achieve their flow state, for example, may fall flat for a different INTJ. It’s all just a process of exploration and trial-and-error.

Questions for Further Thought and Discussion

  • Are you familiar with your own flow state?
  • What activities help you feel energized and inspired?
  • Has your flow state shifted throughout your life?
  • How often to reach flow? Once a week? Daily? Monthly?
  • Do you think your flow state is common for your MBTI type?
  • How might Enneagram type connect to flow state?

Why INFJs Are Often Misunderstood

Do you ever feel misunderstood?

Despite your best intentions… you can’t seem to communicate how you actually feel about something (or someone). Or other people tend to make entirely wrong assumptions about you based on very limited, very shallow external clues. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to invite others to see the real you… it just gets lost in translation.

Although being misunderstood is a very human experience, if the above description feels like your constant reality there’s a chance you could be an INFJ.

INFJs in the Myers-Briggs personality system means that someone is Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. These four qualities paint a road map to the following cognitive function stack:

  • Introverted Intuition – Dominant
  • Extroverted Feeling – Auxiliary
  • Introverted Thinking – Tertiary
  • Extroverted Sensing – Inferior

Why INFJs Are Hard to Read

Due to their unique ordering of cognitive functions (so unique that they make up only 2% of the world population), INFJs are often misunderstood as hypersensitive and sometimes psychic.

INFJs are misunderstood as hypersensitive because of how their dominant Introverted Intuition function works with their auxiliary Extroverted Feeling function. Extroverted Feeling (Fe) picks up on what the group is feeling, always looking outside of itself to discern the emotion, mood, and atmosphere around them. Because of this, INFJs often report feeling other people’s emotions as their own. Other types might perceive INFJs as “depressed” or “anxious” when really they’re expressing the anxiety or depression of those directly around them. This chameleon tendency makes them “sensitive” yes, but not in the way that others expect.

INFJs are also sometimes misunderstood as psychic. They are future-thinkers with an amazing ability to discern patterns on an unconscious level. Their dominant Introverted Intuition (Ni) can sometimes help them predict what others cannot as their inferior Extroverted Sensing (Se) picks up on clues in their physical environment and feeds it to Ni. INFJs often don’t know how they know what they know. This mysterious quality comes from Ni and makes them seem extremely cryptic to the outside world.

Another potential reason for the scarcity of dominant Introverted Intuition in the world (INTJs included), is a theory referenced by Antonia Dodge and Joel Mark Witt on their Personality Hacker Podcast that Ni is actually the most recently evolved of the eight cognitive functions. Given it’s newness, it makes sense that the nuances of the function wouldn’t be as well understood as the other seven.

Encouraging All INFJs in the Room

To INFJs: remember that what you’re feeling on a daily basis is often a projection of what someone else around you is probably feeling. You’re highly empathetic as a person and there is space in the world for your point-of-view. Try to break down every emotion and trace it’s origins back to the original conversation or event that sparked it, and identify which aspects are outside of your control. If you realize you’re experiencing some else’s emotions, let them go.

Also, be aware of your unique perspective and how mystical it might seem to others. What feels natural to you will often seem inexplicable to others. But what you think and see does hold value, even if you’re the only one bringing it to the table.

A Word to All Other MBTI Types

To other types: Remember that INFJs will greatly empathize with you. Whether you expect them to or not, they will feel your story and your emotions deeply. Be conscious not to fault them for taking on your pain as their own. But just because they feel deeply, doesn’t make them fragile. INFJs are some of the strongest of the 16 types because they dive head first into the dark, they truly can’t look past it.

If you’re lucky enough to know an INFJ personally, remember that you can gain a great deal of wisdom and insight from their perspective. Be curious, ask questions, and recognize the value of what they see. Without their deep perspective, the world would be a far more bland and predictable place.

Introduction to the Three Basic Human Instincts

All humans share three main survival instincts: Self-Preservation, Sexual/Intimate, and Social. According to the Enneagram, not all of these instincts are created equal.

We humans have a tendency to favor one of the three instincts above the rest. When combined with the nine Enneagram types, it creates 27 Enneagram subtypes… adding some much needed nuance to the system.

But before diving into subtypes, let’s dive into the details and the differences between the three basic humans instincts.

The Self-Preservation Instinct

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Self-Preservation (abbreviated as SP), is the instinct to achieve and maintain physical self-protection. Those who favor self-preservation will be most concerned with meeting their physical needs, whether that’s a need for food, shelter, safety, transportation, or any other form of tangible resource.

The self-preservation instinct manifests itself as a need to protect the physical body, a need to acquire both professional and personal skills, and a need to build foundations and acquire resources.

To identify whether you favor the self-preservation instinct, see how many of the following questions and/or statements you say or think on a day-to-day basis:

  • What am I going to eat tonight?
  • You know… I should probably cut out ____ from my diet.
  • Gosh, I’m just so tired today!
  • Do I need to go to the store right now to get that?
  • I could definitely lift that. No problem.
  • I wonder if I could actually survive in those conditions?
  • How does this work?
  • You know what I really need right now is: ____.
  • I’m going to take this apart to figure it out.
  • I really need to save up for that.

The Sexual/Intimate Instinct

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The sexual instinct (also called intimate or one-on-one, abbreviated as SX), is the drive for attraction, connection, and legacy-building. Although this instinct does include the physical drive to have sex, it extends much deeper than that. Those who favor the sexual instinct will be most concerned with attraction, transformation, and chemistry.

The sexual instinct manifests itself as a need to have intense experiences, connect deeply and personally with other individuals, be vulnerable and accepted in their vulnerability, fuse and become one with another person, and to sustain a sense of thrill and adventure in their lives.

To identify whether you favor the sexual instinct, see how many of the following questions and/or statements you say or think on a day-to-day basis:

  • Are we connecting?
  • Does he/she really see or know me?
  • I think it’s off-putting when I do ____.
  • How can I be a better version of myself?
  • I want to be remembered for ____ when I die.
  • I need to surround myself with better people.
  • Am I doing enough to leave a legacy?
  • I just don’t see myself there…
  • What can I become?
  • Life is about being rich in experiences.

The Social Instinct

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The social instinct (abbreviated as SO), is the drive to get along with other people and create strong social bonds. Those who favor this instinct are aware of how they’re positioned in the community and they are motivated to build status and reputation through social interaction.

The social instinct manifests itself as a desire to build strong connections with various social groups, care for others so that they will also be cared for, interpret actions and consequences of those actions, andachieve or maintain harmony between people.

To identify whether you favor the social instinct, see how many of the following questions and/or statements you say or think on a day-to-day basis:

  • What do we all have in common?
  • Do they expect me to attend?
  • Maybe I should say it like this instead…
  • I don’t want to offend anyone.
  • How am I being perceived right now?
  • Is it problematic to say ____?
  • Will they all get along?
  • I don’t want to start a fight.
  • That happened to her because she did ____.
  • But will I fit in there?

Now that you’ve received an introduction to all three basic human instincts, know that they can be combined with your Enneagram type to create a subtype. For example, you can either be a SP 2, SX 2, or SO 2. When you combine the motivations of the nine Enneagram types with the drives of the three instincts, it creates 27 wildly unique personalities.

What about you? Do you notice a preference for self-preservation, sexual, or social drives? Are there two that you identify strongly with and one that significantly lags behind? Why do you think that is? Feel free to share below!

Do You Have Medical/Body Anxiety? You Might Be One of These Two Myers-Briggs Types…

When you get sick, do you go down a rabbit trail of symptom searching?

You have a new injury…. a strange skin condition… some stomach troubles… and WebMB has you convinced that you picked up a parasite from your last vacation, or that you have an autoimmune disease, or a tumor of some kind. Regardless of the severity of your initial symptoms, you start actually picturing your own funeral. But how did you get here?

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Many different Myers-Briggs types can struggle with body anxiety, so if you aren’t one of these two types discussed in this post, know that your experience is still valid and you are not at all alone. Although many types can face medical and body anxiety, these two almost certainly will: ENFPs and ENTPs. The reason is found in their cognitive function stack.

ENFPs and ENTPs share the same inferior cognitive function: Introverted Sensing (Si). This function is typically concerned with memory, repetition, habits, and physical health. Si is the dominant function for ISFJs and ISTJs. At it’s best, it allows the user to vividly relive past experiences, learn quickly from their mistakes, trust fact over inspiration, pay attention to detail, feel comfortable with tradition, and live resourcefully. As an inferior function, the user will need to work extra hard to develop these things and reap the benefits.

Typically, one’s inferior cognitive function is not developed until midlife. Until then, it’s use will appear occasionally, but come across as sloppy and overexaggerated when it does. When healthy, Si-inferior will look like:

  • Engaging positively with routine
  • Getting enough sleep every night
  • Taking care of the body when sick
  • Keeping a relatively clean home space
  • Arriving places on time
  • Being dependable and loyal

When unhealthy, Si-inferior will look like:

  • Overreacting to body aches and pains
  • Forgetting about the body’s needs
  • Running late for meetings or events
  • Keeping a messy space, neglecting chores
  • Getting too little sleep each night
  • Being flighty and unreliable

But it isn’t just Si-inferior “doing it’s thing” that causes ENFPs and ENTPs to overreact to their body and under-serve it’s physical needs… it’s that working in tandem with their dominant function: Extroverted Intuition (Ne).

Extroverted Intuition is all about pattern recognition, idea-generation, and brainstorming. Ne-users are constantly scanning their environment for connections and patterns… and their own body is no different. “Oh, that headache I felt yesterday? I wonder if that could be connected to when I fell two weeks ago? And I did forget my own aunt’s name on Monday? Could it all be connected?” This dangerous, cyclical loop of anxiety is all too natural for ENFPs and ENTPs.

So, what can be done about it? Waiting until you’re past midlife is always an option… (when Si is a little more mature and your health habits actually stick), but here are a few tips that you can implement in the meantime to help break the pattern:

  • Assume you fall in the majority. Does that illness you’re reading about and have “all the symptoms for” only afflict 2% of the world population? Instead of assuming you’re in the 2%, assume that you’re in the 98% of people who don’t have it.
  • Check with a doctor. Concerned about something for an extended period of time? Find a doctor who knows you well and who you can trust. If they’re not concerned about it, trust that you shouldn’t be either.
  • Avoid Googling. Maybe it gives you comfort some times… but give yourself a rule to not hop down the rabbit hole too far. Two YouTube videos and two blog posts per day is quite enough. Get the information you need, and then take a well-needed breather to allow your body time to heal and your brain time to relax.
  • Give it a week (or two). There are instances of medical emergencies… so please use your best judgement and the advice of close family and friends to make a judgement call on when you need to go to the doctor or the emergency room…. but if you’re getting checked out constantly, before your body even has time to heal, then you’re adding more stress on to your plate then you need. Give yourself a timeline that you feel comfortable with to just rest, nourish, and care for your body. If that time passes and nothing changes, then it might be wise to get a second, professional opinion.
  • Know that you’re not alone. The old idiom that “misery loves company” is actually very true! Humans need to know that they are not alone in their afflictions. Remember that while you’re going through something with your body, thousands of people are almost certainly going through the same exact same thing right now. Every ENFP and ENTP will struggle with body-related anxiety at some point in their lives, it’s natural, it’s normal, and you’re going to be okay.

What about you? If you’re an ENFP/ENTP, what are some tips for handling body anxiety or some ways you’ve helped develop inferior Si? If you’re reading this as another Myers-Briggs type, what are some ways you’ve dealt with your own body/medical anxiety (if you experience it)? Are there patterns you recognize within your cognitive functions that get you to a place of worry? Feel free to share below!

3 Strategies to Help Develop Your Cognitive Functions

You know your cognitive functions! Congratulations.

Maybe you don’t actually know how to use the information that you have, but you have the knowledge in your self-help tool belt and you’re ready to apply it.

Now what?

It’s easy to get stuck in the discovery-phase and gloss over the application-portion, but here are three simple ways you can grow with the information you are now equipped with.

Strategy 1: Balance the relationship between your dominant and secondary functions.

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Our dominant function by nature comprises roughly 80% of what we think, say, or do. It’s easy to let it steer the ship — that’s what it’s meant to do! The co-pilot function should compliment the dominant function and the two should work together in a symbiotic relationship. But, for whatever reason, that relationship might be out-of-wack.

  • Do your life circumstances necessitate the use of your secondary function, causing you to neglect the proper use of your dominant function?
  • On the other end of the spectrum, is your dominant function running the show so much that your secondary function rarely gets a say?

To help determine how balanced your dominant and secondary functions are, ask yourself this question: how often am I in flow? “Flow” is a mental state where time stands still. When you are in flow, you are so strongly in your element that work doesn’t feel like work, it feels like play! Some Myers-Briggs types can achieve flow easier than others (Extroverted Intuitives like ENFPs and ENTPs have a notoriously hard time achieving it), but it can be an effective indicator of how balanced your first two functions are.

Strategy 2: Spend most of your time in your preferred world.

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It’s no secret that introverts prefer the world inside of themselves and extroverts prefer the world outside of themselves.

If you are an extrovert, than too much time in isolation can be a detriment to your personality-health (and vice versa).

Introverts will have a harder time than extroverts in balancing the world outside of themselves with the world inside of themselves (especially in the western world), because the average workplace and social situation rewards extroverted behavior. Too much time in the opposite world preference is not only draining, it’s counterproductive and even harmful.

In order to break free of the slump of your current circumstances, you may have to intentionally set aside time to gain energy from your preferred world. It will be a challenge at first, because you’re making the plans from a place of low-energy… but once your dip into the reserves you’ve been deprived of, it will make all the difference!

Strategy 3: Focus on the function that best matches your age bracket.

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Everyone’s personality develops at a unique, individualized pace. But generally, there are patterns within personality development and they roughly go as follows:

  • Dominant function – develops during childhood
  • Auxiliary function – develops during adolescence
  • Tertiary function – develops during mid-20’s
  • Inferior function – develops during mid-life

If you’re not sure where to begin with personality development, there’s good news: you’re already developing a portion of your brain naturally! By looking at where you’re at in the sliding scale of time, you can zoom in on the function that you’re likely developing anyways. By studying the skills, strengths, and weaknesses associated with it that function, you can help fast track your growth.

These three strategies are simple, but they can make a world of difference when it comes to personality development. Are there self-development strategies you use to grow and balance your cognitive function stack? Feel free to share below!

Myers-Briggs Dominant-Tertiary Loops (Introverts)

If you have already read the post on Myers-Briggs Dominant-Tertiary Loops (for extroverts), this introduction will look familiar. Feel free to jump ahead to the eight individual type descriptions for introverts: INFP, INTP, ISFP, ISTP, INFJ, INTJ, ISFJ, ISTJ. But if you’re starting here and unsure what “cognitive functions” are, read this for a thorough description and MBTI introduction.

Stress is a human condition most of us know all too well. Input and circumstances beyond our control can negatively impact relationships, career moves, and even our health — but did you know that it can alter your personality?

According to the Myers-Briggs personality type theory, periods of high stress or unusual circumstances may cause individuals to use their cognitive functions differently. When talking about stress and personality, there are a few different theories in the type community about shadow selves and shadow functions. Before wandering down that rabbit hole, let’s look at a more universally accepted cognitive pattern: the dominant-tertiary loop.

This loop occurs when an extroverted personality depends solely on the two extroverted functions in their cognitive stack (the first/dominant and the third/tertiary) and an introverted personality depends solely on their two introverted functions. For example, an INFP’s cognitive stack is: Fi, Ne, Si, Te so a dominant-tertiary loop would be depending on Fi and Si to run the show, completely bypassing Ne. In this cognitive loop, the secondary function is always ignored, leading to a host of problems (as you can imagine).

For the eight introverted types, facing an event or situation from the outside world that’s too difficult to approach may cause them to retreat into their more comfortable internal world to handle it. Normally the second function acts as a side-kick to the dominant function, so when this process is ignored for a long period of time chaotic and unhealthy behaviors can emerge.

Here’s how the dominant-tertiary loop plays out for introverts.

INFP (Fi-Si)

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An INFP’s secondary function is Extroverted Intuition (Ne). When there is an excessive amount of stress coming from an INFP’s outer environment, they may neglect Ne and turn toward their dominant Introverted Feeling (Fi) and tertiary Introverted Sensing (Si) functions for answers, support, and solutions. Particularly for these types, when possibilities and opportunities seems scare and they are unable to explore their world, they may turn inward for comfort and guidance.

The dominant-tertiary loop for an INFP causes them to obsess over their subjective values, morals, and principles. Because Si is a memory function, an INFP under significant stress might find themselves mercilessly replaying conversations or events from the past. This could lead to a sudden urge to mend broken relationships and rebuild burnt bridges. INFPs in this state often become self-critical and replay small details of previous interactions and torment themselves with things they said or did.

If an INFP hangs out in this space for too long, they may be emotionally vulnerable and experience forms of anxiety and depression. With Ne out of the picture, an INFP is unable to see future options and outer world possibilities. This can easily lend itself to feelings of doom and hopelessness as an INFP sees no way out of this spiral.

In order to break free of this toxic mental cycle, an INFP needs to begin exercising Ne again. It might feel forced as they try to get out into the world, take trips, meet new people, try new restaurants, etc., but when it’s functioning again the difference will be very apparent — it might look like random bursts of inspiration and sudden life changes. INFPs should engage with the outer world with cautious enthusiasm after long periods of introverted stress.

INTP (Ti-Si)

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An INTP’s secondary function is Extroverted Intuition (Ne). Like an INFP, if there is significant stress coming from the outside environment, particularly if they are unable to explore the world around them, they may find themselves turning inward for solutions. When looping between Ti and Si, INTPs may start obsessing over their own thoughts and find it hard to land on confident conclusions.

Because Si is a memory function, an INTP under significant stress might dive even more deeply into their minds and find themselves replaying past arguments and becoming cripplingly nostalgic. The usual forward-thinking INTP becomes drowned in memories of the past in a Ti-Si loop. Because they’re drawing from what they know (Si) instead of expanding on what they know (Ne), an INTP in a dominant-tertiary loop can be rigid and inflexible with their assertions. If an INTP stays in this loop for too long, they can become paralyzed by nostalgia and confined to routine.

When an INTP comes out of this loop and begins to exercise Ne again, they may become suddenly inspired to engage with the outer world and go searching for new experiences. INTPs should seek guidance from close family and friends during this time and allow them to speak into their lives as an objective third party. Tempering their enthusiasm while still following their Ne instincts will help INTPs make less impulsive decisions.

ISFP (Fi-Ni)

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An ISFP’s secondary function is Extroverted Sensing (Se). If an ISFP receives an excessive amount of stress from the outside world, they may turn inward and “hermit” in their own personal space. For an ISFP, this stress often comes in the form of sensory overload: loud sounds, excessive input, distracting visuals, or demanding physical conditions may overwork the resources of Se and cause them to bypass it in order to get through the situation. When looping between their dominant function Introverted Feeling (Fi) and their tertiary function Introverted Intuition (Ni), an ISFP may find themselves preoccupied by the meaning of life and taking a pessimistic view of who they’re going to be in the future.

Because Ni is a perspective-shifting function, an ISFP in a Fi-Ni loop might find themselves identifying patterns in things that aren’t necessarily accurate. They may read into other peoples motives and become paranoid about how someone is treating them. This “looping” ISFP might doubt a partner’s loyalty, question their own potential, struggle to see the value in things, and feel guilty for not sustaining their relationships properly. Without their auxiliary function bringing in new information, ISFPs will feel limited and even trapped inside themselves.

In order to return to a healthier mental state, ISFPs need to engage Extroverted Sensing again by going on “adventures.” Sensory experiences like planning a trip, trying a new restaurant, or going on a hike will jolt an ISFP back to life. ISFPs, like all personalities, should be cautious when coming out of a dominant-tertiary loop because their auxiliary function is starving for stimulation. It will be easy to “go over the top” with experiences due to the rush of excitement and euphoria they get from those things. Tempered enjoyment is the name of the game.

ISTP (Ti-Ni)

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An ISTP’s secondary cognitive function is Extroverted Sensing (Se). Stressful events can overload Se’s ability to process, adapt, or react to new information and as a result, cause an ISTP to escape inward to their dominant Introverted Thinking (Ti) and tertiary Introverted Intuition (Ni). While in this loop, ISTPs may dwell on self-doubt and assume a dreary perspective of their future.

Healthy ISTPs are confident and sure of themselves. Without the aid of Extroverted Sensing, however, these types question their every move. Introverted Thinking relies on new information from Extroverted Sensing in order to have direction and stay focused. Without new input from Se, the ISTP will turn to Introverted Intuition (Ni) for answers. Unfortunately, Ni isn’t well developed in the ISTP so it will present incomplete and pessimistic pictures of the future. These types start to see how things could go wrong and they picture only negative outcomes playing out. This pessimistic spiral is internal, but usually noticed by loved ones.

In order to break free of the Ti-Ni cognitive loop, the ISTP needs to actively engage Extroverted Sensing. At first this won’t feel comfortable or natural, but by purposefully trying to take action on their ideas, even if the outcome is unsuccessful, they’ll find themselves in a more productive and healthy space. By trying to repair that car that’s been sitting in the garage, attempting a new trick on the dirt bike, or going on a new weekend trip to a scenic location, ISTPs will find hopeful horizons.

INFJ (Ni-Ti)

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An INFJ’s secondary function is Extroverted Feeling (Fe). This function helps an INFJ interact with the outside world in a way that brings harmony, sustains relationships, and skillfully navigates the world of people. If significant stress taxes this function, like a relationship going sour or feeling detached from loved ones, INFJs may bypass Fe and turn to their dominant Introverted Intuition (Ni) and tertiary Introverted Thinking (Ti).

INFJ’s looping between Ni and Ti will cause them to be incredibly lost in thought. An introverted loop is difficult to discern from the outside because, by nature, it’s invisible to others… but the INFJ will feel particularly affected as if they can’t escape their own mind. In this loop, Ni plays around with new theories, gives that information to Ti to investigate, and Ti returns it to Ni to expand on and churn out even more abstract thoughts. In this process INFJs can get so caught up in analyzing every tiny detail that they end up in a very anxious and debilitating state. When Ti provides the answers Ni is looking for instead of Fe, the INFJ will feel dissatisfied with the conclusion and begin self-loathing.

INFJs will feel particularly stressed by the amount of mental activity that’s going on during this loop. The longer an INFJ stays here, the harder it’s going to be to get out. In order to exit their Ni-Ti loop, they’ll need to trust and engage with their relationships again. By utilizing compassion and empathy, their focus will turn again to other people. But INFJs may need the help of a loved one to exit this cycle since Ni-Ti can perpetuate so much self-doubt and helplessness that they may not have the perspective to recognize their need for change. Although it is not easy, it is possible to get back to a healthier place cognitively if intentional effort is made to strengthen and engage Extroverted Feeling again.

INTJ (Ni-Fi)

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An INTJ’s secondary cognitive function is Extroverted Thinking (Te). Periods of high stress and emotionally heavy situations, like trauma or severe loss, will spark a need to retreat into their more comfortable introverted functions. Extroverted Thinking will initially try to cope with the pain and come up with satisfactory conclusions, but if it is unable to do so, INTJs will abandon it and consult Introverted Feeling for a variety of answers to deep questions.

The usually logical and balance INTJ becomes quite impulsive in a Ni-Fi loop. This introverted loop makes them more prone to act on emotions quickly and clumsily without taking the proper time to sort them through. INTJs are normally very confident and decisive, but an INTJ in a Ni-Fi loop will be hesitant and even afraid to make a decision. This fear paralyzes them and lines between what’s right or wrong become unusually blurred. If the dominant-tertiary loop is sustained for a significant amount of time they might become paranoid and restless.

An INTJ in this loop will feel particularly unsettled and want to return to their confidence and quick decision-making. In order to exit their Ni-Fi loop, they’ll need to trust and engage Extroverted Thinking again. By introducing external thoughts and opinions and by visualizing their own thought processes again, they will slowly begin to trust the reliability of that function. Things like listening to speakers, reading books, or writing out their plans will help INTJs regain use of this function.

ISFJ (Si-Ti)

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An ISFJ’s secondary cognitive function is Extroverted Feeling (Fe). If relationship dynamics become particularly stressful for this type or if they feel their usual ways of handling things aren’t working, they may be more prone to enter into a dominant-tertiary loop relying on their dominant Introverted Sensing (Si) and tertiary Introverted Thinking (Ti) to run the show.

Like INFJs, these types are prone to becoming lost in thought while in their Si-Ti loop. But instead of becoming anxious about the future, ISFJs will become obsessed by mistakes of the past. A healthy ISFJ will naturally have Si bring past experiences to the forefront and use Fe to introduce compassion to those memories. A looping ISFJ will bypass that sympathetic Fe response and use Ti instead. Introverted Thinking is a function that likes logic and hard facts, but because it isn’t well-developed in an ISFJ, the strengths of this function will be misapplied and the ISFJ will feel like they can’t come up with any real solutions to anything. This critical analysis will be a sharp difference from the typical warm nature of an ISFJ.

The longer an ISFJ stays in a Si-Ti loop, the harder it’s going to be to get out. They’ll need to trust and engage with their relationships again to stimulate Extroverted Feeling. By utilizing compassion and sympathy, their focus will turn again to other people. Activities such as volunteering for a charity can help shift their focus back on other people and make an ISFJ feel more at ease in their own mind.

ISTJ (Si-Fi)

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An ISTJ’s secondary cognitive function is Extroverted Thinking (Te). They may be prone to neglect Te and withdraw into their more comfortable introverted functions if circumstances from the outside world become particularly challenging or require a more sensitive, empathic approach. Their tertiary Introverted Feeling (Fi) function will try to take over in Te’s place, but will operate as a very incomplete and clumsy secondary function.

ISTJs are known for their reliability and steadiness. In a Si-Fi loop, however, these types become more fearful and unsure of themselves; they may start to doubt their own abilities and hesitate moving forward. This lack of confidence seeps into every aspect of their lives: personally and professionally. They spend a lot of timing using Si to examine the past and because Fi may not be well-developed, their sense of self-identity is fragile and will cause them to be uneasy about their future prospects.

To come out of this loop, ISTJs will need to start relying on Te again and use it to introduce rational decision-making. To do this they’ll need to actively research topics, engage in stimulating conversation, and focus on the things they can change in their situation. They may feel a bit uncomfortable with the shift (as often happens if someone is stuck in a dominant-tertiary loop for extended periods of time), but doing so will help them feel more grounded, confident, and healthy.

Introverts Looping

If you’ve read through all the types in this article, you may have recognized a pattern when it comes to introverts falling into and emerging from a dominant-tertiary loop. Introverts by nature feel more comfortable in the internal world of feelings, logic, intuition, and memory. In times of stress, it is understandable that they would shift to total reliance on these internal means to solve tough problems and help them navigate stressful life seasons. But in order to be complete and well-rounded as people, extroverts and introverts alike need to balance the world outside and inside themselves. By intentionally engaging and trusting the less natural world, every MBTI will be journeying toward personal wholeness and peace.

Myers-Briggs Dominant-Tertiary loops (Extroverts)

Stress is a human condition most of us know all too well. Input and circumstances beyond our control can negatively impact relationships, career moves, and even our health — but did you know that it can alter your personality?

According to the Myers-Briggs personality type theory, periods of high stress or unusual circumstances may cause individuals to use their cognitive functions differently. For an introduction to cognitive functions, click here. When talking about stress and personality, there are a few different theories in the type community about shadow selves and shadow functions. Before wandering down that rabbit hole, let’s look at a more universally accepted cognitive pattern: the dominant-tertiary loop.

This loop occurs when an extroverted personality depends solely on the two extroverted functions in their cognitive stack (the first/dominant and the third/tertiary) and an introverted personality depends solely on their two introverted functions. For example, an ENFP’s cognitive stack is: Ne, Fi, Te, Si, so a dominant-tertiary loop would be depending on Ne and Te to run the show, completely bypassing Fi. In this cognitive loop, the secondary function is always ignored, leading to a host of problems (as you can imagine).

For the eight extroverted types, facing an event or situation that’s too heavy to process emotionally, mentally, intuitively, or practically will cause them to spiral into a dominant-tertiary loop. Normally the second function acts as a side-kick to the dominant function, so when this process is ignored for a long period of time chaotic and unhealthy behaviors emerge.

Here’s how the dominant-tertiary loop plays out for extroverts.

ENFP (Ne-Te)

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An ENFP’s secondary function is Introverted Feeling (Fi). In stress, if there is an emotional matter that’s too heavy for Fi to process, an ENFP may neglect using it entirely. These events might include the death of a family member, a terrible breakup, a personal tragedy, or repetitive abuse.

Without Fi, ENFPs jump from their dominant Extroverted Intuition (Ne) to their tertiary Extroverted Thinking (Te) function. Ne is full of ideas and Te is keen on efficient action. But remember, Te is not a well-developed function for the ENFP, so the way it is expressed in a loop is often sloppy, inconsistent, excessive, or ill-timed. ENFPs in a Ne-Te loop appear on the outside to be a productive member of society: they are going to work, to the gym, ticking things off a to-do list… it’s a fast and impressive pace but not a sustainable one.

For anyone who knows an ENFP, they will quickly realize that this busy work is not full of their usual warmth. They might act stubborn and mercilessly logical as Te causes them to focus on the wrong things at the wrong times. Because Fi is their usual meter for empathy, generosity, and authenticity, when Fi is bypassed, these characteristics are hard to find in an ENFP.

Not surprisingly, this loop is not sustainable. Due to the high amounts of stress in living this way, an ENFP will almost certainly come out of this pattern of living heavily and emotionally. In order to break free, they need to focus on engaging Fi again and get in touch with their morals by processing their life emotionally. The suppressed process will eventually burst through the floodgates and although it will be unpleasant at first, in a short while it should feel like a breath of fresh air. 

ENTP (Ne-Fe)

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An ENTP’s secondary function is Introverted Thinking (Ti). In stress, an ENTP will be actively looking for new, creative solutions. If Ti does not provide effective solutions to the problem(s) at hand, an ENTP will turn outward for more options and input. When looping between Ne and Fe, they might find themselves obsessing over other people’s opinions and striving to be liked and accepted.

The healthy default mode for ENTPs is to take in information with Ne and bring those things to Ti for analysis and guidance. When an ENTP chooses to forgo their Ti function, decisions seem overwhelming and nearly impossible to make. ENTPs will take in information from Ne and then use Extroverted Feeling/Fe to decide on the next course of action. Because Fe isn’t a well developed function for ENTPs, this will quickly manifest as a high sensitivity to criticism and a tendency to read into other people statements and actions. Being so hyper-focused on receiving approval from others, ENTPs may lose confidence in their own voice.

In order to pull themselves out of this loop, ENTPs need to look inward and begin activating Ti once again through objective analysis. At first the use of Ti might feel forced if the ENTP has been living in a Ne-Fe loop for a significant period of time. But by exercising this mental muscle again, they will gradually learn to trust and rely on their own judgment. Once this self-trust is reestablished, an ENTP will be returned to a healthy mental state.

ESFP (Se-Te)

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Very similar to the ENFP, an ESFP will be prone to neglect their secondary Fi function when an emotional matter hits them that’s too heavy to process in the moment. To friends and family, this may look like they are “running” from their problems and into the arms of something exciting, fun, and productive. Fi needs a significant amount of time to come to terms with things like the loss of a loved one, stress in a friendship, an emotional breakup, disappointment in a career field, etc. If an ESFP feels too emotionally spent to take the time to process those things, they may fall into a Se-Te loop.

Se-Te looping together looks like a highly productive and incredibly social member of society working hard and playing hard. This ESFP is busy and will mercilessly grind out their goals: from going to the gym to immersing themselves in a work project. In this loop, an ESFP will make blunt comments and sometimes seem heartless in their matter-of-fact language. This ESFP is dripping with sarcasm (even more than usual) and will often say things to get a strong response from others. Because they’re bypassing Fi, all of their validation needs to come from external sources so they might act out in order to get attention.

After a time, an ESFP will wake up from this season of life suddenly and dramatically. The suppressed processing will eventually bubble to the service and unfortunately, this can be an extremely painful experience for the ESFP. But although it will be difficult, after Fi is engaged again, it should feel like a weight off their shoulders and this type will regain a deep sense of peace and well-being.

ESTP (Se-Fe)

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An ESTP’s secondary function is Introverted Thinking (Ti). This function processes information logically and factually, but if there’s a sudden life event or a reoccurring stressful problem that makes the ESTP feel limited or shut down, they may neglect Ti and turn to other cognitive functions for escape and answers. Stressful events like losing a job, being hyper-controlled, or feeling like their current coping strategies aren’t producing desired results can all cause ESTPs to find themselves in a dominant-tertiary loop.

In hopes of shaking things up and creating a different outcome, an ESTP might rely on only their extroverted functions: Extroverted Sensing and Extroverted Feeling. An Se-Fe loop means that an ESTP will be more focused on impressing and pleasing others than anything else. They will clumsily engage Fe and in so doing will seek out validation from others to ensure they’re doing a good job. Instead of enjoying themselves in the moment like ESTPs are so good at doing, they will be become preoccupied with impressing others and will seek out positive reactions as a gauge of success.

In this state they’re bypassing Ti which usually acts as a logical resource to ground the ESTP. Naturally, this loop is extremely stressful and unsustainable. In order to escape the loop, ESTPs should proactively engage in activities which activate Ti, like watching informational videos, reading a book, solving a puzzle, etc. Engaging Ti will remind them that they don’t need to turn to others for validation and this realization will help them become carefree again. This process may initially feel uncomfortable and forced while the Se-Fe loop is breaking down, but when the suppressed functions eventually burst through, the peace of mind will be unmistakable.

ENFJ (Fe-Se)

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An ENFJ’s secondary cognitive function is Introverted Intuition (Ni). This function acts as their gut instinct and internal compass. If a major life event causes significant change that is difficult for Ni to process, an ENFJ might turn to their dominant Extroverted Feeling and their tertiary Extroverted Sensing to run the show. Events like a major move, a break up, or a job change could all cause an ENFJ to find themselves neglecting Ni and turning toward this loop.

While relying on Fe and Se, the usually confident ENFJ will gradually become self-conscious and image-obsessed. In this Fe-Se loop these types will seek validation from others and feel insecure when they’re not surrounded by people. Their own sense of identity might become lost in this loop as they pour their attention into their relationships. They want to make others happy and win the approval of their friends and in-so-doing might lose sight of what actually matters to them. Fe leading without Ni input makes for a very people-pleasing ENFJ and Se taking over as an immature function might make for risky social decisions.

If an ENFJ desires to break free of this loop, they will almost certainly do so stubbornly and slowly. They need to start relying on Ni again and use it to trust their gut. To do this they’ll need to intentionally carve out alone time or engage in activities that are true to themselves. They may feel a sense of guilt as they pull away from prior social engagements, but eventually they’ll return to a more confident, self-sustaining state and be so much healthier for it.

ENTJ (Te-Se)

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An ENTJ’s secondary cognitive function is Introverted Intuition (Ni). Similar to the ENFJ, if a life event or series of events causes a significant amount of stress that overwhelms the resources of Ni, they may neglect the function and turn toward their more comfortable extroverted alternatives: dominant Extroverted Thinking and tertiary Extroverted Sensing.

To the outside, an ENTJ looks efficient and successful in a Te-Se loop. Extroverted Thinking/Te is great at getting things done and Extroverted Sensing/Se isn’t afraid to take bold risks and jump straight into action. Because the Se function is normally well-developed in ENTJs, they themselves may not notice they’re looping at all. If anything, they will begin to feel extremely exhausted as they stretch their time and mind too thin — that’s the siren that something needs to give. Because Ni acts as an ENTJ’s gut instinct, without its wise and perceptive input, an ENTJ will come across as more assertive and aggressive than usual. They may appear hard-headed or even slightly reckless as they work to achieve their goals.

In order for an ENTJ to break free of this loop, they’ll need to spend time introspecting. This practice is something an ENTJ will consider a waste of time but it’s absolutely crucial to achieve psychological balance. Activities like reading, writing, or conversations with close loved ones may be especially painful if an ENTJ has been in a Te-Se loop for an extended period of time. The deeper they go in the process of re-engaging Ni (and potentially even tapping into their Inferior Fi function), the more likely it is that they will unearth unpleasant memories and come to tough realizations. ENTJs are masters at selectively focusing their attention on productive things, but this habit will only work to hurt them in the long run. Although this internal work might be long and painful, once an ENTJ goes to this place they’ll begin to feel more rested and at home in their minds once again.

ESFJ (Fe-Ne)

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An ESFJ’s secondary function is Introverted Sensing (Si). This practical side of them dips into old stories and memories as a way of navigating through new situations. At the core of the ESFJ is a desire to please people and serve others well, so if this type feels like they are falling short of that mission, they may bypass Si and turn exclusively toward their extroverted functions for help.

You can spot an ESFJ in a dominant-tertiary loop because they will quickly become over-committed. As they turn to Extroverted Intuition/Ne to give them more ideas on how to please or serve their loved ones, that energy will be embodied as chaotic and scattered. ESFJs will become exhausted as they go above and beyond for the people around them. Typically realistic, balanced types they become overbooked and unable to say no. As Fe seeks to please people, Ne feeds the dominant function more ideas on how to do so. Without Si tempering and calming the ESFJ, they’ll quickly become worn down in a Fe-Ne loop.

In order to emerge on the other side of this cognitive state, the ESFJ needs to start relying on Si again and use it to analyze the past. This is best achieved by spending time in isolation where they can realize their mistakes and rationally adapt to them. They may feel uncomfortable setting boundaries with loved ones again, but doing so is necessary if they hope to return to a healthier place.

ESTJ (Te-Ne)

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An ESTJ’s secondary cognitive function is Introverted Sensing (Si). This function manages a world of memory and practical information. If an ESTJ feels a significant amount of stress to come up with a new answer to an old problem, they may neglect Si and turn to their less-developed tertiary function, Extroverted Intuition (Ne), for ideas and novelty.

In a Te-Ne loop, the typically direct and commanding ESTJ will become more chaotic than usual. Their choices will look more sporadic and spontaneous as they lean into their less-developed Extroverted Intuition/Ne function to help them make decisions rather than their more grounded, practical auxiliary Introverted Sensing/Si function. The ESTJ in this cognitive loop tries to see things from every angle and as a result, will feel incredibly unsettled.

Due to the high amounts of stress in this loop, an ESTJ will want to come out of it quickly and return to their usual means of attaining results. In order to do so, they will need to start relying on Si again and use it to analyze the past. Are there practical examples of other people solving similar issues that could be replicated in this situation? To answer this question, the ESTJ may need to carve out alone time to re-engage Si and trust the tried-and-true and practical again. They may feel uncomfortable structuring their lives like they used to, but doing so will help them feel more grounded in their choices and content in their lives.

Extroverts Looping

If you’ve read through all the types in this article, you may have recognized a pattern when it comes to extroverts falling into and emerging from a dominant-tertiary loop. Extroverts by nature feel more comfortable in the world of ideas, thoughts, people, and senses outside of themselves. In times of stress, it is understandable that they would shift to total reliance on these external means to solve tough problems and help them navigate stressful life seasons. But in order to be complete and well-rounded as people, extroverts and introverts alike need to balance the world outside and inside themselves. By intentionally engaging and trusting the less natural world, every MBTI will be journeying toward personal wholeness and peace.

5 Most Common Mistakes When Self-Typing (mbti)

Do you know your Myers-Briggs type?

Odds are, if you are reading this, you have come across the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator at least once or twice. Maybe your university signed you up to take the test to help you choose your major? Or maybe in a journey of self-discovery you found yourself deep in subreddits trying to confirm your “perfect type” ? Whatever the circumstances that lead you to this specific personality assessment, it is very possible that you have made one of these five mistakes when self-typing.

Mistake One: You only took one Myers-Briggs test

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If you were coerced into taking the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator for a class, employer, or career seminar, it is very likely that you only took the assessment one time. From whatever link you were forwarded (hopefully not to 16Personalities), you probably considered that the results were accurate enough and told everyone you were an “INFP! Whatever that means…”

Given the long arm of the internet, there are dozens of Myers-Briggs tests out there (both free and pricey) with varying degrees of accuracy. Considering that the original Myers-Briggs Type Indicator was created by a mother-daughter team defining the psychological theories of Carl Jung, it is no surprise that online quizzes give a wide variety of results since most are a test off of a test off of a test.

Like money or parenting, personality tests are neutral with the potential for positive or negative outcomes. In order to get a truly accurate result (with Myers-Briggs or the Enneagram or any other personality assessment), it takes multiple tests, reading, researching, and talking with other people in order to truly settle on your true type.

Even though finding your true type does take work, the payoff is priceless once you get there. But if you don’t currently have the time or energy to “read all about it!” at least take away this: odds are very high that your first Myers-Briggs test results were inaccurate.

Mistake Two: You think introvert = shy and extrovert = outgoing

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One of the most common misconceptions about personality types revolves around this belief: introverts are shy, timid, and withdrawn and extroverts are bold, loud, and outgoing.

Are these stereotypes? Yes. Are these descriptions partially true? Definitely. Are these words synonymous and interchangeable? No.

Being an introvert or an extrovert does not describe how you act in the world, it describes how you are oriented to the world.

Introverts consider their internal, invisible, personal world as the “real world.” They gain their energy from alone time and will feel more recharged after spending time away from people, experiences, and things. If a new conversation or person comes their way, they bring it back to their internal map to form an opinion on that thing or an action from that experience. Their internal world is their compass and their primary “residence.”

Extroverts consider their external, visible, touchable world as the “real world.” They gain their energy from external stimuli (not necessarily people, but anything outside of themselves: thoughts, ideas, actions, experiences, etc). These types consult their internal map after they have already made the decision or absorbed the information outside of themselves. Live first, think second is usually how extroverts operate. Their external world is their compass and their primary “residence.”

Most people mix up introversion and extroversion by misreading their needs. Humans, by nature, tend to notice what they lack rather than what they have. Everyone needs a balance between introversion and extroversion, we do not exclusively use one or the other. In a hypothetical scenario: an extrovert who spends 80% of their day in the world of people and “needs” 20% of that same day alone is a very typical situation and does not make that person an introvert. Needing time alone is universal.

A good experiment to gauge if you are an introvert or an extrovert is to dedicate an entire week to introvert activities and another week to extrovert activities. During your introverted week, spend all your free time reading books, writing, engaging in solo sports, playing video games, going out in nature, etc. During your extroverted week, spend all your free time with friends, socializing, having conversations, taking in new experiences, knocking things off the bucket list, doing something a little risky. Depending on how introverted or extroverted your job is by nature, you may have to take a break from it to feel the full effect of the experiment.

Maybe from the description above you already 100% know which you prefer. That’s great! But maybe you’ll need a little feast and famine experiment to get to know yourself. Whatever the case, the knowledge is worth the effort because on the other side you will know which activities make you come alive and which activities drain you.

Mistake Three: You believe one letter preference completely excludes the other

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A very common mistake when first introduced to Myers-Briggs is believing that the dichotomies are mutually exclusive.

Myth: I am a thinker so I am not a feeler.

Truth: I prefer “thinking” over “feeling” but I use both head and heart to make decisions.

Humans are incredibly intelligent, well-rounded creatures. One major reason so many people are turned off by personality assessments is the belief that a title like “ISFJ” will put them in a box when they know clearly that they are capable of making different decisions given different circumstances on different days.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator was designed by Katharine Briggs and Isabel Briggs-Myers to be a road map not the final destination. The dichotomies point toward something deeper: cognitive functions.

Without getting into the ins-and-outs of the cognitive-function-rabbit-hole, long story short is that your hunch is true: you are both introverted and extroverted, intuitive and sensing, thinking and feeling, judging and perceiving — all wrapped in one.

Mistake Four: You start comparing yourself to someone with the same type

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Comparison is natural. Almost like breathing, humans will subconsciously size themselves up to the person next to them. But where Myers-Briggs is concerned, comparison can be detrimental.

Even though we want to have that unified “TWINS!” moment with our friends and family of the same type, if you compare traits too soon it might get confusing and even make you doubt the validity of personality tests in general. “We’re nothing alike…” is usually the reaction after playing the personality comparison game. But here are a few things that can make you seem extremely different from someone you are comparing yourself with:

  • One of you tested inaccurately
  • One of you is further along in personal development
  • One of you is in a season of intense stress or mental health struggles causing that person to be in a dominant-tertiary loop or in the grip of their inferior function
  • Different Enneagram types impact expression and prioritization of similar traits
  • Different childhood experiences impact what you consider acceptable social behavior

Those are just a few things that can make one type appear much different from someone of the same type. The best approach is to take your results and their results with a grain of salt and get to know them with an open mind.

Mistake Five: You avoid looking into the cognitive functions

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Cognitive functions research is often considered the “extra credit” of Myers-Briggs homework, but really it is the bread and butter of this entire personality assessment system. To truly understand and solidify your type, going this extra mile is going to confirm it for you beyond a shadow of a doubt. If you ache to be understood and to understand others better, consider reading the Myers-Briggs Introduction page on this website for a brief overview.

If you have read this far and have made one (or all five!) of these mistakes, you are not alone. If self-development is something you’re seeking, take advantage of the growing number of Personality City resources on this website and on social channels. Keep digging!