ESFJ

Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.

Desmond Tutu

Overview of “the Provider”

ESFJs are Extroverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging.

  • Extroverted because they are energized by time spent with others and connect most with the outer world.
  • Sensing because they explore practical details of the physical world and focus primarily on the past and present.
  • Feeling because they prioritize personal values and emotions when making decisions.
  • Judging because they prefer to have things organized and like control in their outer environment.

ESFJs are extremely caring people who fiercely love those around them. They enjoy participating in social activities and try to ensure everyone is having a good time. Their tendency to take on a nurturing role will often lead them to sacrifice their time and energy for the benefit of others. They have compassionate minds and open hearts willing to embrace hard work for the greater good.

ESFJs are fairly traditional types. They prefer taking a step-by-step approach when it comes to achieving success in life. Because they find comfort in conventional methods, they often spend time pursuing careers in medical or educational fields. ESFJs are reliable, trustworthy, and dependable. They do the hard work to build a steady foundation for relationships and businesses to stand on while working collaboratively with a team so that everyone moves forward together.

Cognitive Functions

In the Myers-Briggs personality system there are eight cognitive functions. Your unique personality is a road map pointing to the four cognitive functions that you access consciously. Every personality will have two extroverted functions and two introverted functions. Every personality will also have one feeling function, one thinking function, one intuitive function, and one sensing function. For more help and practice identifying cognitive functions for the sixteen Myers-Briggs personality types check out this worksheet. All eight functions are as follows:

  • Extroverted Intuition
  • Introverted Intuition
  • Extroverted Sensing
  • Introverted Sensing
  • Extroverted Feeling
  • Introverted Feeling
  • Extroverted Thinking
  • Introverted Thinking

Fe (Extroverted Feeling) – Dominant

An ESFJ’s dominant cognitive function is Extroverted Feeling, abbreviated as Fe. Dominant cognitive functions are used approximately 80% of the time by an individual and are hardly noticed by the user. This function will feel like second nature and “drives” an ESFJ.

10 Signs You’re Fe-dominant

  1. You naturally keep the peace
  2. You like to talk out your decisions
  3. Naturally expressive and sincere
  4. You live your life based on your values
  5. You are a master-sympathizer
  6. Strong response to feedback (good or bad)
  7. Outwardly caring
  8. Susceptible to guilt
  9. Caught up in the emotional state of your environment
  10. Very sacrificial (almost to a fault)

Positives of Being Fe-dominant

  • Naturally peacekeeping
  • Expressiveness
  • Living out your values
  • Sympathizing with others

Struggles of Being Fe-dominant

  • Down talking yourself
  • Self-sacrificing to a fault
  • Feeling large amounts of guilt
  • Being caught up in other people’s emotions

A note to the ESFJs reading…

Ever wonder why you need to talk out your decisions and you learn better when you’re verbally teaching others? That’s Fe. Have you ever noticed your consistent urge to socialize while other people seem content in isolation? That’s Fe. Ever find yourself with a booked social calendar and loving every second of it? That’s Fe.

Extroverted Feeling is the reason you’re so perceptive socially and feel at home with your friends. It’s why you love interacting with people and prize genuine, personal connection over large groups of indifferent followers. It can be your secret weapon and your Achilles heel if it isn’t properly balanced with the other cognitive functions.

Si (Introverted Sensing) – Auxiliary

An ESFJ’s secondary function is Introverted Sensing/Si. If someone is an extrovert, their dominant function will be extroverted and their auxiliary function will always be introverted. Balance is necessary — especially in the brain! Si helps process the information brought to it by Fe.

10 Signs You’re Si-auxiliary

  1. You enjoy reliving past experiences
  2. You learn quickly from your mistakes
  3. You notice when something’s “off”
  4. Trust facts over inspiration
  5. Probably have a good sense of humor
  6. Comfortable with traditions
  7. You pay attention to detail
  8. Often fairly resourceful
  9. Dislike being pushed outside your comfort zone
  10. You compare and contrast a lot

Si takes a backseat to Fe. Because Fe is the driver, Si responds to the information after Fe has already lived the experience. This is why ESFJs are drawn to conventional methods and might relate a past experience to help them navigate a present one. Fe is interacting with people in the moment while Si looks to the past to process the information and later present it to the ESFJ as a refined opinion and /or action-step.

ESFJs are fairly extroverted and will likely identify themselves as such. They love spending time with their friends and although they are not usually the “life of the party,” their relationships truly do define their lives and give them depth and meaning. They present themselves to the world as easy-going and grounded. They’re extremely friendly and will get along with most everyone they meet. Introverted Sensing as an auxiliary function will keep them sentimental and introspective as they pursue social richness.

Ne (Extroverted Intuition) – Tertiary

An ESFJ’s tertiary cognitive function is Extroverted Intuition/Ne. This position as third in the “cognitive stack” often means that FeSi is running the show the vast majority of the time. Because of this, Ne is a bit underdeveloped and starts showing up in an ESFJ’s mid-20s. Tertiary functions usually have the maturity level of a ten-year-old child — they can serve as a strength or a weakness depending on how the user responds to it.

Tertiary Ne is why ESFJs have fun new ideas and want to act on them. It explains why they are fascinated by other points of view as they try to learn more about the world around them. Extroverted Intuition/Ne occasionally pushes an ESFJ out of their comfort zone simply for the thrill of it: whether it’s a new trip, restaurant, sport, or date idea… Ne encourages them to try new things so they don’t get stuck in old habits.

Ti (Introverted Thinking) – Inferior

An ESFJ’s inferior cognitive function is Introverted Thinking/Ti. This function is typically concerned with logic, reasoning, and objective data sets. Inferior functions usually develop in midlife. Because of this late-blooming, there will be many times Ti pops up in uncomfortable, weak, and even self-destructive ways.

Healthy Ti-inferior looks like

  • Logical reasoning
  • Breaking down a new concept
  • Taking an objective point of view
  • Having a well-rounded perspective

Unhealthy Ti-inferior looks like

  • Selective reasoning
  • Being suspicious of logic
  • Distrusting others who bring up undesirable facts
  • Resisting objective truths or facts that disturb the peace