Do you ever feel misunderstood?
Despite your best intentions… you can’t seem to communicate how you actually feel about something (or someone). Or other people tend to make entirely wrong assumptions about you based on very limited, very shallow external clues. No matter what you do, you can’t seem to invite others to see the real you… it just gets lost in translation.
Although being misunderstood is a very human experience, if the above description feels like your constant reality there’s a chance you could be an INFJ.
INFJs in the Myers-Briggs personality system means that someone is Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging. These four qualities paint a road map to the following cognitive function stack:
- Introverted Intuition – Dominant
- Extroverted Feeling – Auxiliary
- Introverted Thinking – Tertiary
- Extroverted Sensing – Inferior
Why INFJs Are Hard to Read
Due to their unique ordering of cognitive functions (so unique that they make up only 2% of the world population), INFJs are often misunderstood as hypersensitive and sometimes psychic.
INFJs are misunderstood as hypersensitive because of how their dominant Introverted Intuition function works with their auxiliary Extroverted Feeling function. Extroverted Feeling (Fe) picks up on what the group is feeling, always looking outside of itself to discern the emotion, mood, and atmosphere around them. Because of this, INFJs often report feeling other people’s emotions as their own. Other types might perceive INFJs as “depressed” or “anxious” when really they’re expressing the anxiety or depression of those directly around them. This chameleon tendency makes them “sensitive” yes, but not in the way that others expect.
INFJs are also sometimes misunderstood as psychic. They are future-thinkers with an amazing ability to discern patterns on an unconscious level. Their dominant Introverted Intuition (Ni) can sometimes help them predict what others cannot as their inferior Extroverted Sensing (Se) picks up on clues in their physical environment and feeds it to Ni. INFJs often don’t know how they know what they know. This mysterious quality comes from Ni and makes them seem extremely cryptic to the outside world.
Another potential reason for the scarcity of dominant Introverted Intuition in the world (INTJs included), is a theory referenced by Antonia Dodge and Joel Mark Witt on their Personality Hacker Podcast that Ni is actually the most recently evolved of the eight cognitive functions. Given it’s newness, it makes sense that the nuances of the function wouldn’t be as well understood as the other seven.
Encouraging All INFJs in the Room
To INFJs: remember that what you’re feeling on a daily basis is often a projection of what someone else around you is probably feeling. You’re highly empathetic as a person and there is space in the world for your point-of-view. Try to break down every emotion and trace it’s origins back to the original conversation or event that sparked it, and identify which aspects are outside of your control. If you realize you’re experiencing some else’s emotions, let them go.
Also, be aware of your unique perspective and how mystical it might seem to others. What feels natural to you will often seem inexplicable to others. But what you think and see does hold value, even if you’re the only one bringing it to the table.
A Word to All Other MBTI Types
To other types: Remember that INFJs will greatly empathize with you. Whether you expect them to or not, they will feel your story and your emotions deeply. Be conscious not to fault them for taking on your pain as their own. But just because they feel deeply, doesn’t make them fragile. INFJs are some of the strongest of the 16 types because they dive head first into the dark, they truly can’t look past it.
If you’re lucky enough to know an INFJ personally, remember that you can gain a great deal of wisdom and insight from their perspective. Be curious, ask questions, and recognize the value of what they see. Without their deep perspective, the world would be a far more bland and predictable place.
Personality City 